There are times when this doesn’t seem the case because the culture doesn’t emphasize (American-style) efficiency when it comes to formal processes and because (American-style) timeliness isn’t as highly regarded (ex. expecting a mason to come work at our house in the morning, but waiting for hours because when he said morning he actually meant late afternoon). This is more of a cultural adjustment on our end though as we come from a culture that emphasizes efficiency and timeliness, arguably to a fault.
In general though, the average person who works is working hard for long hours each day, often for very little pay and doing a job that, from my perspective, seems monotonous and lacking in reward for the effort required. We live across the street from a boutique, which is a little store selling all sorts of things from eggs to juice to brooms to flip flops (seriously, these stores are filled from floor to ceiling with quite the assortment of goods!). Two men run this boutique 7 days a week. Each morning between 7 and 8 am they are out there opening the doors, setting up the stands of potatoes, oil and beans that sit outside the store and sweeping the step leading into the store which is perpetually covered with sand from the dirt road we live on. All day they help hundreds of customers, using a wheelbarrow to transport goods from the storage unit around the block when things need to be restocked. Senegal has a strong night culture so they remain open until 11pm and sometimes as late as 1am (and yes, they are still hopping at these late hours!). They pack everything back up, lock the doors and prepare to come back the next day. We have lived here over a year now and I have never seen the boutique closed, nor seen someone other than these two men running it. Talk about long, repetitive work.
This has prompted some thinking lately on the work God has given me as a stay at home mom. And in this I have been learning a lot about taking joy in the repetitive tasks of each day which is a lot of what my job is. For example, much of my life revolves around mundane, everyday tasks: cooking meals, packing lunches, encouraging potty breaks, wiping children, changing diapers, nursing a baby, laying her down for naps, picking up toys, cleaning up messes, doing dishes, filling up our water pitcher to keep our filtered water supply up, putting laundry away, wiping things down, meal planning, ordering meat deliveries, giving baths and so on. Of course there are plenty of other things in my day as well, but just maintaining a home takes a lot of daily tasks done on repeat.*
It can be easy to feel like I’m stuck in a never ending loop of figuring out what to feed the family and cleaning things which will just become dirty again the next day (or later that day, or later that hour). Yet, isn’t this a reflection of God? Day in and day out He causes the sun to rise and set. He brings the rhythm of the sun’s passing and the seasons changing. There is an order to life, an ebb and a flow in nature and even the things and seasons we experience as humans. Even in the garden, before the fall, He had created plants and animals, day and night. He had given Adam tasks which were a delight to him and had invited man in to work alongside the Creator.
This is still true today, though sin has marred it. I’m made with purpose. I image God as I carry out my day to day tasks and rhythms. There is deep satisfaction and joy in taking part in ordering creation in the spheres God has put us in. For me that is creating a home and mealtimes which bring our family together and allow us to find a safe haven as well as a space to be hospitable and relational with others. Additionally, even if my work can feel unproductive at times, like weeks when the kids are sick or just needing extra one on one attention, I can find fulfillment knowing that God has called me to this work and there is immense purpose in that alone. So, whatever the Lord has called you to for this season, be it motherhood, an 8-5 job, caring for a sick family member, a time of waiting; know that there is purpose and that God can be glorified in it all, even the mundane.
– Selina
* I would be remiss not to mention that Adam plays just as big a part in many of these daily tasks to keep the home running and has lots of other roles on top of his regular ministry duties (ex. being the sole grocery shopper and our main dish washer). Additionally, our house help Fatou is an immense blessing as she washes almost all our laundry and cleans the house from top to bottom twice a week, a much needed aid given how quickly things develop a layer of dirt and dust – even when it’s not dusty season!
One thing that has been interesting here is that there are tons of people out and about selling things or offering services. Men walk around offering to clean shoes, trim toenails (seriously!), sew things, wash cars, trim bushes and so on. Women set up stands in random nooks on side streets and sell produce, fried pastries, sandwiches or nuts. Men stand next to busy roads or walk along the highway, taking advantage of standstill traffic to try and sell all manner of thing; cashews, peanuts, small birds to offer as penance for sin, windshield wipers, dresses, shirts, bags of water, toys, large framed pictures, rugs, cleaning supplies, sunglasses, kites…you get the picture. This is in addition to stands that are more permanently set up to sell fruit and vegetables, clothing, street food and so on.
Door-to-door sales are also very common and if you buy from someone once you had better be ready to have them show up to your door one to three times a week. It only takes one purchase to be considered a regular on their route. For example, we have a “fish guy” named Abdou who frequents our home. We are now in a rhythm of buying a kilo of fish each week from him and are then able to offer him a few moments of respite from the sun in our front entry. We chat for a couple of minutes and he downs a cup or two of cold water. We found out recently that he has 8 children who are 21 years old down to elementary age. His persistence is admirable and also understandable knowing how many people he is supporting.
Recently we added a “citrus guy” to our rotation named Muhammad. He is one of the people who sells things by chanting repeatedly what it is he is selling. Then, once you buy from him once, he comes to your door, chanting in between stops to try and garner new customers. His cry is especially distinct. A loud, deep chant of “Limon, limon, limon!” which is citrus in Wolof. For months our family has loved when he passes because we enjoyed chanting “limon, limon, limon” in our own home whenever we heard him, but we had yet to actually purchase anything from him. Then about a month ago I actually needed limes and happened to be at the front door when he passed. I flagged him down and made my first purchase. Muhammad now stops by two or three times a week and Desi is in charge of giving him 500cfa (about 80 cents) for the little bag of limes.
There are several other people who use the power of sound to indicate what they are offering and to let people know they’re there. For example, the guys who sew things walk around with an old fashioned looking sewing machine propped on one shoulder and shearers in their hand which they make a clacking noise with as they walk so you always know where they’re at.
This has made me think about the idea of proclamation. These people who are selling their wares have found ways to announce beforehand about their arrival so that those they’re approaching can respond and buy something when they come. They herald their arrival and the good things they bring.
As a follower of Jesus I am called to proclaim the good news, to be a herald of the saving faith Jesus offers, the hope we can have in Him. This is done through the way we live and love others, but must also be done with words (sound). Do my actions and words declare the good news and give an accurate picture of the God of the Bible? Am I quick to confess my own sinfulness and need for a Savior? Am I pointing to the hope of Jesus alone for salvation? Am I pursuing spiritual conversations with others and sharing the gospel with them? Does our lifestyle, family dynamic and home leave space to invite others in? Are we loving other followers of Christ well, knowing we’re all a part of one Church? What message is my life proclaiming? What do I need to change to more clearly herald the good news of Jesus?
Just as our kids know the sound of the “Limon, limon, limon” guy, I hope that my life can be marked by the ever present proclamation of the gospel in word and deed.
“You who bring good news to Zion, go up on a high mountain. You who bring good news to Jerusalem, lift up your voice with a shout, lift it up, do not be afraid; say to the towns of Judah, ‘Here is your God!'” – Isaiah 40:9
“How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, ‘Your God reigns!'” – Isaiah 52:7
“Give praise to the Lord, proclaim His name; make known among the nations what He has done. Sing to Him, sing praise to Him; tell of all His wonderful acts.” – Psalm 105:1-2
“The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son, Jesus Christ.” – 1 John 1:2-3
I love journaling. I could write a whole blog post about that (and I probably will at some point). I love it because of how helpful it is in the moment, but also because of how helpful it can be days, months and even years later. When I read an old journal I get a glimpse into what I was feeling and thinking at that time, into what kinds of questions and concerns I was pouring out to God and into how He was working in my life at that time. I also get to see how He has continued to work in those areas. I just came across an amazing example of this when I found a journal entry I had written the very first night of our vision trip to Senegal.
October 2020. We had chosen Avant as our mission agency, done several phone interviews with various teams around the world and had felt that Senegal was the most intriguing. Avant and the team on the ground had encouraged us to take a vision trip to get a feel for the location and ministry. Mia was two and Desmond was only 5 months old, but we had decided to leave them with family so that we could spend the most amount of time getting to know our potential teammates and the place we were considering.
We arrived in country after an overnight flight. I was desperately trying to pump in the hopes of continuing to nurse Desmond once we returned home. We showed up in the height of hot season. Both of us felt run down and Adam especially was struggling with a cold that was much worse after not sleeping on the plane. We spent that first day napping, getting to know our potential teammates and going out to a dinner on the beach. Then we settled in for the night in our AirBNB apartment. At 2am I was up pumping and wrote this journal entry:
10/19/20 2am pumping
Adam and I talked in bed last night and are on the same page about how tough it would be to live here. This is not to say that we think this is not for us but that it would be hard, especially trying to think about this on Day 1. A lot about the way of life is just SO different. It would be hard to raise young kids here, hard to figure out the ins and outs of cultural norms and how to get by. We would lose so much that we are so used to and hold dear, but what is worth losing and what are things we are holding too dear? I think about things like going out and about comfortably as a family, family walks, seeing our family almost daily, a familiar home and access to things easily. These are things that are currently integral to our family. But are they the most important things? What do we want to teach our kids? What do we want to model to them as being of the most importance?
I think we are both a little stressed thinking about all of this; we miss the kids, are jet lagged, tired, sick and feeling inadequate. We also are struggling with feeling like we are failures if we decide not to come here. This is also not a motivation to decide to live here. Pride one way or another cannot be why we make our decisions. But neither can comfort or fear of the unknown.
Lord, wherever we end up, whatever You lead us to it WILL be hard. We WILL be uncomfortable and displaced for awhile. But we want to pursue Your will, we want what You want for us and our family. Please Oh Lord make that clear to us. We have confidence and eager expectation of how you will make this clear to us over the coming days.
I pray we can also intentionally connect with the Cousens and be wise and transparent with our words and feelings.
As I write all this out and journal and pray I think the coolest thing, and a great comfort to me, is how much all of this is drawing us to You. It is SO easy to forget just how dependent on You we are when things are easy and comfortable. That would not be the case here. It won’t be the case for the rest of support raising or language school or adding more kids or moving away from family or settling into a new culture, wherever it ends up being. But being pushed past what we thought was possible is not necessarily a bad thing, for in our weakness You are strong. Less of me Lord, more of You. Amen.
As I read this today I am just amazed. The raw emotion of that first night is clear and to be honest, many of the things I was wrestling with were spot on. It is hard to live here. We deeply miss our friends and family in the States and so wish that we could just go for a walk around the block as a family. The culture is something we’re still trying to adjust to and probably will continue to flounder in for a long time. Support raising, though a sweet process, was intense. Language school was grueling (especially for me). Adding in kids is always an adjustment. And so on.
One of the coolest things to me though is to see the verse that God brought to mind as a comfort that night. In my weakness, He is strong. If you’ve read some of my other blog posts than you know that it was that verse that I leaned heavily on all through language school last year. God has spoken comfort and assurance to me through that Scripture countless times since I wrote that journal entry. Man, He is faithful.
Another cool thing is that I came across this journal entry as I worked on our October newsletter. I just finished writing part of it about how affirmed we have been feeling about our calling and purpose here. We have felt such affirmation that we are where the Lord wants us and He has work for our family to do here. This is especially sweet to think on in light of our uncertainty when we first visited.
After lots of anticipation and preparation, Evie Grace Matzke arrived Tuesday, April 25th at 2:30 in the morning, 5 days past her due date. Many of my worries about what it would be like to give birth overseas never came to fruition as she was born unexpectedly in our home! The full story is below. I hope that through it you see what an amazing God we have: One who goes before us, provides for us and is so gracious. May this chapter in our story, as with all the others, be one that gives HIM the glory! Fair warning: this is a detailed account of the birth and includes mention of all the messier parts of what occurs 😁
Waiting
Thursday, April 20th, my due date, rolled around without significance. I had been checked the day before and was at 2cm and wasn’t effaced at all. I had my membranes swept in hopes that labor would start as a result (as it had with Desmond). But despite this intervention, walking laps, curb walking, spicy food and all the other tricks to start labor, nothing happened.
Saturday the 22nd, Becca (my doula) came and checked me again, but nothing had changed. I attended a friend’s baby shower that day then walked to Mia’s school with the family for dinner, but still nothing. The next day Adam took the kids to church, but I was whipped and decided to rest at home all day.
Is That My Water?
On Monday the 24th a friend came to visit in the morning and shortly after she left I felt a gushing sensation. Those of you familiar with pregnancy know that it is not uncommon to have discharge throughout your pregnancy, but particularly so towards the end. For days I had been having increased amounts of thick, mucousy discharge, but this felt different. Not wanting to rush to conclusions I waited, but over the coming hours I felt more gushes and decided to reach out to Becca. She came over around 3pm with strips to check for amniotic fluid and sure enough it was quickly apparent that my water had broken!
At this point I was only 3cm dilated and still not effaced. I also wasn’t having any sort of contractions and was beginning to feel anxious as I reflected on my birth with Mia in which my water broke, but she wasn’t born for over 24 hours (of hard labor!!). I paced the house and bounced on the birth ball, trying to get labor going. Thankfully I was in contact with a dear friend in the States who was the midwife that delivered Mia and she encouraged me to rest since typically labor will start on it’s own within 12 hours of the water breaking. Becca repeated this wisdom and encouraged me to take a nap. I decided to heed this advice, ate dinner (a delicious Thai peanut chicken that a friend had graciously dropped off…highly recommend this as a good pre-labor meal!) and then went upstairs to our room around 6:30pm.
The Cave
I mentioned in my last Pregnancy Abroad post about the birth class I took prior to this labor. Going forward I will reference it often as it was key in how this labor and delivery went. For starters, one concept discussed in the class is that it is helpful to create a “cave” to labor in. It even encouraged wearing sunglasses and headphones when going from home to the hospital to stay “in the cave” when changing locations.
As I went upstairs to nap I decided to create my cave. I got ready for bed, turned on two fans and a white noise machine, turned off the lights, reread the labor chapter in my Risen Motherhood book (also referenced in the last post!) and then put on my sleep mask. At first I felt too energized to fall asleep so I just rested, but then I began feeling some contractions start. Even though they were just mildly uncomfortable I began working through how I would cope with the contractions and I reminded myself of the different birth verses and affirmations I had compiled ahead of time (see picture below).
I focused on intentional breathing and relaxing my arms and legs (skeletal muscles) so that more blood and oxygen could be directed towards the uterus (a smooth muscle) as it did the work of contracting to move baby down and eventually out. I wanted to be sure to yield to the contractions versus working against them.
I started using visualization to anticipate the labor. I pictured each contraction as a hill. As the contraction built I was climbing up the hill, at the height of discomfort I was at the top of the hill and then as the contraction came to an end I pictured walking down the hill. I noticed, and was thankful, that in between each hill was flat land, the pause between contractions. I was also very aware that I was not managing these contractions alone, rather I saw Jesus climbing and walking each hill with me. I also looked ahead, knowing that the hills would eventually turn into mountains, too numerous to count, which would grow increasingly difficult to climb and which would have smaller and smaller gaps between them. At first this was a bit anxiety-inducing until I remembered that I was not tackling these mountains in my own strength, and I was never alone. “Jesus will never forsake me or leave me to myself, He will always come to my aid.” “He is trustworthy.” “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7
Finally, I began thinking through the different sensations and pains that I knew were coming, the increased intensity of contractions, the shorter breaks between them, the rectal pressure when baby is moving down the birth canal and the sensation of stretching (the ring of fire!) when it was time to push. I kept reminding myself that all of that was “productive pain” and “I trained for this“.
Rest and Digest
After some time of meditating, praying and drifting in and out of sleep, I decided to check the time and it was already 8pm! I had been in there an hour and a half and with how relaxing the environment was I could feel that the contractions were picking up so I decided to continue resting. At one point I timed the contractions and looked up what they would be if I was in early labor. They were irregular, ranging from 5 to 10 minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds to a minute each. After my experience of slow progression with Mia I prepared myself mentally that this was probably very early labor and I had a long ways to go.
Remembering that I should use this early time of still being relatively comfortable to rest and eat, I decided to stay in my room and had Adam bring me up a snack and some water around 9:30pm. After that I fell asleep.
It’s Baby Time!
I remember so distinctly jumping awake with a sharp, severe pain that turned into a full blown, I have to breathe intentionally, contraction at 12:53. I quickly realized that things had picked up considerably as I continued working through contractions and went to the bathroom. At this point my body decided to clear everything out which would have been a warning sign that baby was moving down and nearing her arrival, except for the fact that I had been having diarrhea for much of the end of my pregnancy so I didn’t think much of this time except that I wanted to get back to bed quickly to keep working through the contractions I was having.
At 1:15am I called Adam to come upstairs, feeling like I needed help managing the contractions. At 1:30am Becca also came up. Seeing how intense the contractions were she decided to check me again. I was nearly fully effaced, but still only 3cm. She encouraged us that we should head out for the hospital in the next hour or so, but had some time to labor at home still (which is what I had always emphasized wanting).
For the following 45 minutes Becca and Adam helped me labor through increasingly difficult contractions using different things like the birth ball, peanut ball, make shift rebozo sheet and counter pressure. I remember feeling a bit stressed about if I could handle this since I assumed I still had a long ways to go and had never given birth unmedicated. At some point Adam began putting the final things in our hospital bag so we would be ready to go and he called our friends to come over who were going to stay the rest of the night with the older kids.
At one point I got up to use the restroom again and found it nearly unbearable to be sitting on the toilet. I finished and tried to go wash my hands, but a super strong contraction came on. I tried working through it by hanging from the sink in a supported squat, but this too was very painful. Becca was encouraging me the whole time and Adam ran downstairs to put everything in the car.
After the contraction I staggered back to bed, but already another contraction was upon me. I got on my hands and knees on my bed trying wildly to work through the contractions which were now stacking one on top of the other. I began to feel crazy and terrified! How could I keep going like this? How was I supposed to get in a car and ride to the hospital like this? I wanted an epidural! I began to say, “I can’t do this. I can’t do this! I can’t do this anymore!”
And then it hit me. In my class I remembered learning that when you are in the transition phase of labor you will most likely hit a wall and begin doubting yourself. I was going through transition. I then realized I wasn’t having any contractions anymore which in my class was called the “Rest and Be Thankful” stage between transition and pushing. It seemed too good to be true that I was almost at the end of this. I felt like I was in a trance, in my own little world as I processed this. I was so focused I couldn’t speak.
Then came the pressure and I knew baby must be moving down. It was the pressure I had prepared for. Suddenly I felt the urge to push and managed to mutter as much.
While I had gone into “labor land” and been processing how far progressed this labor was, Becca was trying to get me dressed to go. I was not cooperative and wouldn’t move from my hands and knees on the bed. When I said I needed to push she told me to try not to, thinking there was no way I was fully dilated and if I pushed it could make my cervix swell. When she said that, I utilized another skill from my class and began panting when I felt the urge to push in order to stall pushing.
At this point I felt the distinct sensation of baby crowning and then, as I did the panting breath, she went back in. This happened once or twice more at which point the urge to push became irresistible. With a loud yell I pushed (using my TVA muscles – thank you birthing class) and Evie shot most of the way out. Becca yelled, “You weren’t kidding!!” and helped guide Evie out during the next two pushes.
As soon as Evie was born I was filled with relief that it was over and I snapped out of “labor land”. Evie came out crying and as pink as could be. Becca grabbed the only thing we had near us, a mattress protector, and wrapped Evie in it. We then realized that Adam wasn’t in the room and started yelling for him!
He was coming in from outside and when he heard his name being yelled he thought something must be wrong so he raced upstairs. Instead he walked in to me, still on my hands and knees and connected by umbilical cord to Evie who was in the mattress protector in Becca’s arms. When he came in Becca said, “You have a little girl!”
By God’s grace Becca happened to have some clamps and scissors in her medical bag (which had been in there for years but never needed to be used) which allowed her to safely clamp the umbilical cord and cut it. Becca needed to help me at this point so Adam took Evie and ran downstairs to find a bowl for the placenta to be delivered into.
By then our friends who were staying the night with the kids were already here and had heard my yells as I pushed followed by Evie’s cries. Still, they were shocked to see Adam carrying a baby when he came downstairs!
One of our favorite parts of the story is that when Adam arrived back in the room, with the biggest bowl he could find, I was already about to push out the placenta so Becca had grabbed the closest thing to her as a makeshift bowl to catch it in which just so happened to be Adam’s 2022 European Open commemorative disc golf disc! Upon entering Adam saw this beloved disc held between my legs ready to catch the placenta and was more than relieved to swap it with the bowl just in the nick of time! If you know how much we love disc golf then you can appreciate how incredible it would have been if I had indeed delivered the placenta into a disc. Maybe next time! Ha!
Anyway, after that I finally flopped onto my side and we spent the next stretch of time recovering. Evie was still doing beautifully so we had a golden hour and then some of breastfeeding. Becca assessed me and eventually helped me to the bathroom. Shortly after this though Evie began to grunt and struggle a bit to breathe so we decided it was time to head to the hospital.
We loaded up into the car and booked it there, thankful that traffic was nearly nonexistent in the early morning hours. We actually made it to the hospital in record time – 12 minutes!
Final Thoughts
My final blog post in this series will chronicle the care at the hospital as it deserves its own post. And we’re actually on hospitalization number 3 as I type this so I’ve got plenty of content to share!
Thank you for tracking so far and for reading about Evie’s birth! As time has passed and we continue to reflect, we have become increasingly grateful for how everything happened.
Birth is unpredictable – so many things could have gone wrong, especially in a situation where we had almost no resources, having planned on a hospital birth. Yet, by God’s grace, we have this beautiful birth story to share! Our first birth overseas, getting to fully labor and deliver at home and my first birth unmedicated.
Evie’s name means « life » and her birth story will always be one in which we sit before God in humble awe and gratefulness for the protection of her life and mine in the midst of a crazy, unplanned event which was unknown to us, but fully known to our Father.
Her middle name Grace is a sweet reminder of the good gifts God gives out of His mercy and grace towards us. She is certainly a gift to us!
Thank you to each person who has taken time to read these posts as well as the many of you who have sent me messages of encouragement – your words and prayers for us are so appreciated!
Two weeks ago, at 36 weeks pregnant, I had my final appointment with Dr. Zayat. If things are going normally in the pregnancy then it is typical here to be seen about a month before your due date and then not again until you have the baby! Very different from the weekly visits I’m used to in the final month when I was in the States. We are very grateful for this difference though since going to an appointment here can be quite the extended event.
For example, this last appointment was set for 10 am. Adam, my doula Becca, Desmond and I all went this time (Mia was home sick with a fever). We left around 9:15 and arrived right on time to find the waiting room already filled with people. About two hours later we were seen for our appointment. Then, to avoid having to come back again, everyone else went home, but I hung back and waited another hour and a half or so to have a consultation with the anesthesiologist. This is a standard requirement in the event that you end up needing an epidural or C-section. Throw in the taxi ride home and it ended up being a 6 hour outing.
All of that to say, I’m very glad it won’t be a weekly thing until baby comes!
I’m also very glad to report that this appointment went much more smoothly than the last one. I was very thankful to have both Adam and Becca with me, especially as I was a little nervous to present my birth plan/desires. In the end though Dr. Zayat was very supportive of the things I was hoping for (ie. pushing in a position other than my back, delayed cord cutting, immediate skin to skin if baby is doing well, baby staying with us as much as possible, etc.)
At this appointment I also had a thorough ultrasound and a cervical check. Across the board, all is good! My cervix is at about a 1 and baby is healthy, head down and, as expected, still big! She is already estimated to be nearly 6lbs! We are praising God for such a positive interaction and that everything is looking as it should. At this point we are about two weeks out from our due date and growing more and more excited by the day to meet baby!
Last post I mentioned that I had a very tangible way to show God’s provision through this pregnancy so I wanted to be sure to share that here as well.
Several weeks ago I was having coffee with a friend who off-handedly mentioned that she had heard of a lady who had acted as a doula for another friend here in Dakar. I didn’t think much of it at first since I’ve never had a doula in the past, but as I prepared for this upcoming labor the idea of a doula kept coming back to me. After talking with Adam (who was very much on board) we reached out to the woman my friend had mentioned. Becca was quick to respond and eager to meet.
At our first meeting we got to know each other and talked through the details of her being my doula. It was an instant connection and such an encouraging visit. While Becca has acted as a doula for a couple of women with their deliveries here, her background is actually in labor and delivery nursing. This means that she is very well educated and trained in the process of labor and delivery as well as the postpartum phase for mom and baby! What an incredible gift! Pair that with the facts that she’s lived in Africa for a long time, speaks French well and that some of her past deliveries have actually been at Clinique de la Madeleine (where we will deliver) and it was quickly clear what a great match this was! After going over my birth plan with Becca and having her at this last appointment I feel even more confirmed that she is an incredible gift to us and will be such a blessing when it’s time for baby’s arrival. How cool is God’s provision??
Helpful Resources
The final thing I wanted to share in this post is a couple of resources God has brought my way which have been amazing for mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually preparing for birth. I have always been a planner and enjoy educating myself as much as possible before doing something, but especially so in this situation of delivering in a new country. A couple of months ago I came across a Prenatal Push Prep class online through a workout program I was doing (getmomstrong.com – which I also can’t recommend highly enough!).
My mom gifted me access to the class for Christmas and I have been SO thankful for the many resources it’s provided in preparing for labor and delivery. Here is the link (thebellemethod.com) for anyone interested. In addition to a wealth of knowledge and labor tips (which come from evidence-based research) the class also includes pregnancy pilates classes. I truly wish I would have gone through this course prior to my previous two births.
The final resource is a book called « Risen Motherhood » by Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler. The whole Risen Motherhood ministry (https://www.risenmotherhood.com) has been a huge gift to me as a mom, but this book is a beautiful compilation of how to apply the gospel to motherhood. One chapter is even specifically on birth and was such a timely read for me this last week. I’ll end with a couple of quotes from that chapter as well as some verses I’ve been meditating on as I seek to trust the Lord wholly for this labor and delivery.
“Childbirth is a personal and intimate picture of the gospel for a mother…God uses childbearing for sanctification as it acutely and painfully points out how weak we truly are…The tale of our child’s birth is unpredictable, but our God is not. From before the beginning of time, our God planned a perfect story of redemption for His people. He has faithfully unfolded it day by day for millennia, and it has impeccably gone to His plan. We live in the story, still with sin, need, weakness and imperfection, but we can trust our faultless God…we don’t find our hope in a perfect birth story – we find it in our perfect Savior, Jesus Christ.“
” As you plan…for your child’s birth, remember that God is the giver of life…In our birth experiences God deserves all praise. Amid the decisions, choices, failure and achievements, we can have a steady, unwavering foundation built on our faithful God and His bigger, perfect story for our lives. He never forsakes us or leaves us to ourselves – He always comes to our aid. It is a mercy that weakness in labor and delivery tears down the barriers we build up and gives us more of what we really need – God Himself.”
“The story of the crucified Christ is the best birth story ever told, with elements that parallel the gospel picture in each labor.”
1 Peter 5:6-7 (NLT) ” So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares for you.”
See you next post to share all about how labor and delivery go! Thankful for you all!
Hello friends! I’m back with Part 2 of the Pregnancy Abroad series to share about pregnancy in Senegal so far. Even though we’ve lived here for just two months there is already so many interesting things to share! If you missed it and want to read about what the start of this pregnancy was like in France or know more about my background with my two pregnancies before this, be sure to check out “Pregnancy Abroad Part 1” on the website.
When we arrived in Dakar I was about 24 weeks along. I am so thankful that our big move and international travel could take place during the second trimester! Thank You God for that timing. I am also thankful that we had gotten connected to our doctor here, Dr. Zayat, before we had even left France. With Dakar being as big of a city as it is (3+ million people) there are many options for healthcare. Though I used midwives in the States I opted for this doctor in order to have a provider who spoke English. This is also the doctor my teammates used when they had their baby here a couple years ago.
So far I’ve had two appointments with Dr. Zayat. For our first appointment Adam came with me and we had a really great encounter. Though we had an appointment set up we ended up waiting about two hours in the waiting room before being seen. We had heard that this would be the case with his office though so we made sure to eat a hearty lunch beforehand. When we did make it back we were warmly greeted and welcomed, he looked through all the labs, documentation and ultrasound findings we had brought with us from France and we got to have an ultrasound. This is one of the nicest things here. At each appointment Dr. Zayat himself does an ultrasound to check in on baby. In the States I only ever had two ultrasounds throughout the whole pregnancy so this was a welcome difference.
One of the other biggest differences that we’ve found is that they don’t keep much as far as records on patients. Instead it is expected that the patient brings all their paperwork to each visit. This includes previous ultrasounds, lab work and anything else pertinent. This was something I learned the importance of at my second appointment.
For the second appointment I went alone as Adam was with a sick kid. I had opted to not bring any of the paperwork from my previous ultrasounds since Dr. Zayat had looked through all of it the last time. I was used to America and even France where there is some electronic record kept. I also only had electronic results on my phone of the bloodwork and urinalysis that I had done between appointments. I had the first appointment of the day and so was able to get in much faster, however Dr. Zayat was not afraid to clearly express his dissatisfaction that I had not brought back all of my paperwork from France and that I had not made sure to get a printed copy of my lab results. While I understood that his emphasis on this was coming from a place of wanting me to receive the best care, which is made possible when all information on me is available (ie. when I carry all of that information with me), I was still caught off guard by the repeated reprimand. Add in pregnancy hormones and the fact that I was alone and you can be certain I cried after the appointment (and quickly sent a message to my previous midwife in the States to thank her for the gentle, personal practice they run!).
Thankfully all was well besides this and baby looked good on the ultrasound, albeit large. As Dr. Zayat did the ultrasound and noted that baby was measuring big, he and I did have a nice laugh that he could easily recall my last baby had been 9lbs (4 kg) at birth. I told him I was surprised he could remember that given how many patients he must see and he said, “You always remember a 4kg baby.”
One other notable thing to share from this appointment is that my hemoglobin had dropped. While it was not a concerningly low level it was a fairly significant drop. He explained that this is most likely due to the poor quality of food here. Even the meat, which should be a good source of iron, is not great, so it is very common for pregnant women’s hemoglobin to drop. I am on an iron supplement (not uncommon for pregnancy) and have been trying to increase the amount of iron rich things I eat such as lentils, which are plentiful here. With how much access we have to different types of food here in Dakar it made me appreciate how challenging diet would be in general, but especially in pregnancy, in a more rural setting.
Besides these appointments most of my experiences here related to pregnancy have more to do with stories I’m hearing from people I meet which has painted a picture for me of how very different my labor and delivery will most likely be compared to what I experienced in the States.
Unfortunately we have heard time and time again how poor the nursing care is here and how important it is to advocate for yourself. There are also many cultural differences and standards of practice that we are not comfortable with which will require some firmness on. For example, it is culturally normal here for the nurses to pierce the ears of baby girls shortly after birth and if we do not want this then we will need to be very explicit with those desires.
The setting for laboring is also very different. In the States I was able to walk the halls of the OB unit, I had a tub to labor in as well as many other resources like a birthing ball and great nurses who helped me go through labor. From what we’ve heard you are not allowed to leave the labor room once you’re there and it is small. There are no extra perks such as a tub or birthing ball. The general attitude of staff is much less warm as well which may have something to do with the fact that the birth rate in Senegal is so much higher than the States (4.45 births per women in Senegal versus 1.64 in the U.S. according to a 2020 study). We have also heard that the general amount of time spent training nursing staff is typically very short, especially when compared to the type of training nurses (especially those in specialized settings like obstetrics) receive in the States. Take all of these things and add in the stories people share in person or on FB pages regarding the poor care they received plus the number of times people have been shocked to hear that I’m giving birth here and it makes for a less than exciting view of the upcoming labor process.
I share all of this to give a picture of what I’ve heard and anticipate which, admittedly, has caused me a fair amount of anxiety. This has been a really good opportunity to daily surrender my fear to Jesus and to meditate on the truths of who God is, even amidst situations that seem overwhelming or worrisome.
God has been so faithful to meet me in each and every concern I’ve had and to remind me of His strength and presence always, as well as His provision. I will share one really tangible example of this in the next pregnancy blog post!
Hello! I have had several people mention to me that they are interested in knowing what my experience of being pregnant abroad has been like, especially to hear how the health care systems are in different places. I thought I would begin this “Pregnancy Abroad” series of blog posts to chronicle this journey and provide a look into the health care systems I experienced in Albertville, France as well as here in Dakar, Senegal.
A little background so you can better understand my frame of reference going into all of this:
This is my third pregnancy. At this point Mia is nearly 5 years old and Desmond is nearly 3 years old. For both of my previous pregnancies I went through the same midwife group in my home town. Each pregnancy was smooth and uncomplicated.
Mia came 4 days after her due date after a long labor. I was admitted for my water breaking, but was not in active labor so I was given Pitocin to encourage contractions, but still had trouble progressing. After many hours of labor I had an epidural in order to rest for a couple of hours before pushing for 2.5 hours! Mia had slight complications at birth and spent some time in the nursery for extra care before coming back to me. I experienced 3rd degree tearing as well as an episiotomy. She was 8lbs 12 oz.
Desmond came exactly on his due date. I had my membranes swept that morning and begin having contractions that afternoon (comically these contractions began while on our very first introductory Zoom call with our teammates here in Senegal). They progressed as the night went on until I decided to go in. Shortly after being admitted I had a partial epidural. Soon after that I pushed for about 30 minutes before Desmond arrived! He had no complications and I had no tearing or an episiotomy. He was 9lbs even.
I found out I was pregnant this time partway through language school in France, on August 15th 2022. This pregnancy has been very similar to my previous two overall. I was thankful to have had several friends who had given birth in Albertville earlier that year as well as one friend who was nearing the end of her pregnancy at that time so it was easy to get connected with a good midwife there.
My midwife in Albertville, Madame Dubois, spoke very little English so I was grateful to have already had a couple of semesters of classes under my belt. Still, it was so interesting to navigate a new health system with a language barrier. At our first appointment we were asked to give a full family history for both sides of our family—we were not prepared for that! Overall the care I received in France was very good, albeit different than my experiences in the States. Most striking was the fact that Madame Dubois operated out of a little office alone, so all scheduling and payment occurred in her office with her directly. And she would only take cash so that was quite the adjustment! There was also a much greater emphasis on bloodwork so I felt like I was visiting the lab near our home almost as much as I was seeing the midwife! In particular there is a great concern for toxoplasmosis (which I’ve found to be true here in Senegal as well).
The other experience that was very different for me were our ultrasounds. This was done by a different midwife/ultrasound technician, Madame Pinheiro, out of her own little office. Similarly, the scheduling and payment were with her directly and of course, all in cash. Also, at least with our international insurance, we had to make all payments in full at the time of service and then submit for reimbursement. This was true for all pregnancy appointments, vaccine appointments and ER visits.
Madame Pinhero knew both English and French, but we asked her to stay in French, mostly to aid our learning. When things got very technical with the ultrasound she would switch to English, which we were grateful for.
We found that French culture in general, though certainly not every person, was much less warm than what we were used to in mid-Michigan. This definitely came through in our ultrasound, although these feelings were probably heightened by the fact that it was done in French and by the fact that the ultrasound technician we had in the States for every single one of our ultrasounds was SO amazing and warm. Still, I remember crying after the first ultrasound and wishing I was back in Michigan!
Our second ultrasound around 22 weeks was much better, probably because my expectations had been adjusted and because it was at that appointment that we found out we were pregnant with a little girl!
We left France when I was almost 24 weeks along. My final appointment was another interesting look into the differences between American and French culture in healthcare. Up to that point all my visits had included vitals checks, my midwife measuring my stomach and using a doppler to listen to baby’s heartbeat, but nothing more invasive. At this appointment, after the typical checks, I sat up to get off the table, assuming the appointment was about done (aside from handing her the cash I owed of course). Instead she said something else to me, but I didn’t understand.
One interesting thing I’ve found with language learning is that it is super easy to be thrown off and not understand what is being said when it doesn’t line up with what I’m expecting to be said in any given scenario. So in this case, when I thought the appointment was moving into the payment portion of the visit, I was very confused by this new request. Anyway, my midwife was very gracious and patiently continued to express what she was trying to say until I did understand. Eventually I realized that she wanted me to take my pants off so that she could do a cervical check to ensure everything was normal since this was my final visit before a big international flight. This made a lot of sense and I appreciated the care to ensure all was as it should be.
However, cue yet again the confusion that comes from your expectations clashing with what is actually happening. You see in all my experiences in the States with my midwives and other doctors I was used to the following: the practitioner needs to do some sort of vaginal exam; the practitioner gives me a gown or sheet then leaves the room; I undress and cover with the gown or sheet; the practitioner knocks to ensure I’m prepared then comes back in; the vaginal exams takes place; the practitioner leaves so I can redress.
So even after I finally understood what she was requesting I was confused on what to do next because there were no sheets or gowns in sight and she made no indication of leaving. She probably was thinking to herself, “What’s the problem here? ‘Take your pants off’ isn’t that complicated of a command”, but this was the difference in our cultures. There just isn’t as much concern put into discretion or patient privacy in this setting. Whereas I remember in nursing school that it was heavily emphasized to me to protect the patient’s privacy as much as possible, in France that isn’t a priority.
All of that to say, I eventually caught on and undressed, she did the exam then I redressed (again, with her sitting right there). It really wasn’t a huge deal, but still was off putting, simply because my background and culture is different. From talking to my other American friends who delivered babies in France this was their experience as well and was definitely an adjustment for all of us.
Hopefully this post, and the kind of humorous (in hindsight) final story, give a small glimpse into what my personal pregnancy experience was like in France. Part 2 will include my initial experiences in Dakar!
As promised, a random compilation of things we’ve noticed about life in Dakar. It will be fun to look back on these in the coming months and years to see how we learn and grow in our perception of culture and life.
While typically very short, we do experience power outages somewhat regularly (the power just went out as I am writing this post :D)
There is A LOT of dust! We are amazed at how quickly things can get dirty in our house. This is one (of many) reasons we are so thankful for our house help Fatou.
It is culturally normal to employ a house help and a guard. Some people also employ chauffeurs, cooks and nannies as well.
Boutiques (picture little corner stores) and fruit/vegetable stands are very common throughout the city. We actually live directly across from a boutique which is very convenient if we just need to grab a couple of eggs. It is also an added source of security since it is open until midnight most nights.
Horse drawn wagons are not uncommon to see around the city as well as goats and sheep (the kids love this!). Our neighbors across the street actually have a goat who we often see in a room on the roof.
Roofs are often open spaces, particularly for doing and hanging laundry. Since we don’t have a yard our roof is our only outdoor space.
Dakar is a big city (3 million people!) so it’s taking some getting used to since our background is Midland, Michigan (40,000 people). While violent crime is not common, petty theft is. In our quartier there have been some thefts of bags from people riding on motos (“moto bandits”).
Because of the risk of theft it is extremely important to ensure windows and doors are locked and closed. All of our ground floor windows have bars on them and even the shutters have locks. We are thankful to have a little gate in the front of our house that locks as well.
Extended family will often live together in one house so each room of a house typically has it’s own bathroom. For example, our house has three bedrooms and a total of 4 bathrooms, each of which has a shower in it (another reason we’re so grateful for our house help!)
Many main roads are paved, but side roads tend to be dirt/sand which is the case for our road (the kids enjoy that it’s like walking on a beach each time we leave our house). We, however, don’t enjoy the amount of sand they bring into our house in their shoes 😀
While French is the official language here, it is usually the second language for most Senegalese. While walking around the city we mostly hear Wolof being spoken. This is the language of the largest people group here. We hope to learn some Wolof phrases and eventually tackle the language itself (especially Adam, our forever student 🙂 )
While some foreigners choose to drink water straight from the tap, most buy bottled water or filter it. We have a big filter that we fill each night before bed so we’ve got plenty for the next day.
There’s a guy for EVERYTHING. We’re finding this to be especially true as we try and set up our home. Recently we mentioned wanting to buy some fans and our teammate Dave said, “Oh I’ve got a fan guy, let me call him!” This is also true for meat, repair work, different types of furniture, fruits, vegetables, clothing, doctors…pretty much everything! It’s very important to network and build connections here. We are very thankful for the Cousens and other friends we’ve met here who are sharing their “guys” with us.
Finding a place (or explaining to a delivery person or taxi driver where we live) is less about an address (we don’t have an address for our house) and more about using landmarks. Trying to do this in French as we adjust to Senegalese accents and run into some people who only speak Wolof has been interesting (aka very difficult). Several times we’ve had to ask a guard or boutique worker to help us by speaking in Wolof to explain where we are.
The bugs are not messing around. They seize any opportunity to go for open food or a spill we forgot to wipe up (yet again, thank you to Fatou for being incredible at keeping our house clean!). We are also learning the tips and tricks to keeping things like mosquitos and cockroaches out.
We have to wash all fruits and vegetables in a bleach solution. This added work definitely increases our motivation to not let any of our produce spoil in the fridge.
Cash is king here. While there are a few places we’ve found where we can use our credit card, we mostly operate in cash (much to Adam’s chagrin). We had a number of large payments to make right when we got here (rent, security deposit, etc.) so Adam was taking daily walks to the nearest ATM to withdraw cash. Adam has joked that these 30 minute walks are his exercise routine for now. Unfortunately, we’ve learned that it is very common here for ATMs to be out of cash so sometimes Adam gets to turn his 30 minute walk into a 45 minute walk to hit the next ATM.
Thanks for taking the time to read through these musings!
We have officially been in Senegal for two weeks which seems crazy. Upon initially arriving I had a pretty bad sinus infection which eventually required antibiotics. Once starting those I recognized that I had been feeling much worse than I had realized. I am so grateful to finally feel clear-headed and able to focus on our new life in Senegal. Here is a super random compilation of initial thoughts on our move and first two weeks here:
We are so thankful we took a vision trip in 2020 before deciding to move here. Even though we only visited for a week it allowed us to arrive this time and feel like we were someplace “familiar” instead of completely foreign.
We are SO grateful that we spent a year living in France before moving here. The language learning is an obvious reason, although Senegalese French is *quite* different than France French, we are so happy to feel like we can at least try to communicate. Additionally, the initially shock of leaving family/friends/Midland was something we were able to process in a much more relaxed setting (Albertville) instead of amidst the shock and adjustment of life in a huge, West African city. Another plus is that grocery stores and the products in them are very similar here.
Transition is hard. We’ve seen God’s hand on each of our transitions, making them so smooth. But even the smoothest transition is really hard. Packing, cleaning and preparing to leave, saying goodbyes, doing international flights with tons of baggage and two toddlers (while pregnant), arriving in a brand new culture and context…these are some of the obvious reasons transition is hard. On top of this is the tension it brings. At all times there is a level of stress and anticipation and worry that is very tiring. It’s not really surprising that I have been sick for both of our international moves. One of the hardest aspects of this tension though is the way it comes through in our kids. Desmond in particular struggles a ton right before our big moves. He can’t really communicate super well at 2 years old so he tells us he’s stressed through being very needy and sad. We noticed this before we left Michigan and saw the same thing in him before we left France. Again, this is draining on all of us! Transition is hard.
Our kids LOVE Senegal. We are really enjoying it here as well, although there are a lot of things we are still figuring out and adjusting to, but our kids are just thrilled to be here. As much as they express tension before a move, they also express such relief and ease once we’re settling in a place. So far they have been in awe of the dirt road we live on, all the taxis and horses we pass as we walk in our neighborhood, riding in taxis, having bunk beds for the first time and exploring our new house. They love our teammates and our cleaning lady who comes a couple times a week. Mia already loves school and Desi isn’t upset about the first ever one on one time he and I get when she’s gone.
“God is good.” “He is worthy.” “Christ is sufficient.” “His power is made perfect in my weakness.” These are mantras that I have been reciting to myself throughout the past year or so and God just keeps revealing the truth behind each of these statements over and over again. This last year in school was one of the hardest yet, but also one of the sweetest with my Lord. I have confident assurance and hopeful expectation that He is going to continue to reveal more of His goodness and worthiness this year as well as how sufficient His power is to accomplish His will, for His glory even in my weakness.
Stay tuned for another blog post with more practical, day-to-day thoughts on life in Senegal!
If you read our October/November newsletter (or follow us on social media) then you know that I am pregnant! At this point I am now 21 weeks along and baby is the size of a banana! You may also remember that I mentioned how difficult the first trimester was. I wanted to elaborate a little. In reality the start to this pregnancy wasn’t incredibly different than my first two; strong aversions to certain foods, heightened sensitivity to smell, all-day nausea and fatigue. The intensity of these symptoms, however, were more intense than the first two times and were compounded with many other factors.
For one, while we’ve been in France for awhile now it’s still a new place and our language is still developing. We’ve often said that at any given point, even if things seem to be going well, there is an undercurrent of tension and stress. Trying to grapple with the language, build relationships with a limited ability to understand one another and longing for friends and family back home all lead to an underlying fatigue. So take all of that and add in pregnancy and it’s no wonder the exhaustion felt heightened.
Additionally, right around the time those first trimester symptoms kicked in we were in the midst of welcoming new families and then starting classes back up. Between my own sickness and fatigue and then our kids getting sick I missed several days of class. But even the days I did go I often felt so nauseous or tired that I found it hard to engage. On days off all I wanted to do was nap. In the evenings when I needed to be working on homework (or relearning the things I couldn’t focus on in class that day) I would end up just going to bed. All of this led to feelings of being behind in class and lacking motivation to even care that I wasn’t keeping up.
Another factor was more spiritual and emotional. I more often than not succumbed to laziness amidst my exhaustion and chose to spend time on lesser things instead of with the Lord. I felt the impact of this immensely.
I share all of this to give a picture of why those two plus months were so hard. And also as an explanation for why this is the first blog post in quite some time!
Being several weeks removed from this season now, and feeling SO much better in the second trimester, it can be easy to think back and feel like maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. But then I remember one of the nights when Adam and I got out on a date. We walked to a nearby Chinese restaurant to grab dinner and I just remember feeling like that outing was an oasis in the middle of a desert. As is often the case, this season hit me out of nowhere and I didn’t know how long the desert would last. I just remember feeling utterly depleted.
What’s funny is that last week I was talking to a dear friend and mentor in the States about all of this and she told me of a book she was reading called “Resilient”* in which the author discusses how to build resiliency. The tagline for the book is, “Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times”. One idea from the book that she shared with me was thinking about how your “reserves” are doing. What kinds of things have you done (or are you doing) during easier seasons of life that build up reserves to weather the difficult seasons. She encouraged me to think about how I might build up my reserves for the next time a desert season comes.
At the time of my conversation with her I had already started writing this blog post and had the title chosen, but couldn’t remember what it was. When I came back to write I thought it fitting that I had named it “Utterly Depleted” when what she and I talked about is having reserves in order to NOT become depleted. God is so cool like that.
Anyway, this idea has really been sitting with me as I process through those difficult weeks and think about the challenges ahead. In 18 days we board a plane and move to Senegal. In the time preceding that we will need to take exams (or at least Adam is), pack everything we own into the limited suitcases and totes we have, clean our apartment, finish up remaining doctors appointments and other requirements here in Albertville as well as say numerous goodbyes. On top of that we just spent 5 days in quarantine due to Covid. I’m still sick and have a couple more days of quarantine left.
Once we arrive in Senegal our teammates will help us get from the airport to our new home. We will have about a week to settle in before taking a little vacation as a team. Then we will launch into our new life in Africa. Continued language learning, cultural acquisition, adjusting to living in a huge city for the first time, helping Mia and Desmond transition, preparing for baby to come in April and the list goes on. I have no doubt that at some point in all that is ahead we are going to feel pretty exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed. It may even feel like a desert season again.
This is why we are heavily emphasizing building up our “reserves” now.
What does this mean? What can we do now to have fuel left in the tank when we feel like we’re at our wits end? For us this means prioritizing time in God’s Word daily and dwelling in prayer together and as a family. For me this means intentional time journaling and processing my emotions with Jesus, Adam and close friends. For our marriage it means checking in and talking a lot about how we’re doing and what’s ahead. For our kids it looks like slowing down to talk with them, pray with them and just be with them during this busy time.
This current season has been so sweet and encouraging. The Lord has met me with such tenderness and grace. His Word has been the most refreshing thing. I am so thankful. I am looking forward to our big move with hopeful expectation of all that God is going to do and trusting Him to continue sustaining us as He always does. I am also filled with hopeful expectation that He is using this season of rest and preparation to build our reserves in exactly the ways He knows we will need it for what’s ahead. We trust Him and also seek Him for self-discipline in these life-giving, reserve-building practices. Titus 2:11-14 have been bedrock verses these past couple weeks:
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say, ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope – the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good.”
I pray that whatever season you’re in you know Jesus and the life that is found in relationship with Him. I hope that this is a season filled with refreshment in who He is and who you are in Him.
-Selina
* “Resilient” by John Eldredge : I haven’t read the book myself (yet), but my dear friend let me know that she highly recommends it!
