After lots of anticipation and preparation, Evie Grace Matzke arrived Tuesday, April 25th at 2:30 in the morning, 5 days past her due date. Many of my worries about what it would be like to give birth overseas never came to fruition as she was born unexpectedly in our home! The full story is below. I hope that through it you see what an amazing God we have: One who goes before us, provides for us and is so gracious. May this chapter in our story, as with all the others, be one that gives HIM the glory!
Fair warning: this is a detailed account of the birth and includes mention of all the messier parts of what occurs đ
Waiting
Thursday, April 20th, my due date, rolled around without significance. I had been checked the day before and was at 2cm and wasn’t effaced at all. I had my membranes swept in hopes that labor would start as a result (as it had with Desmond). But despite this intervention, walking laps, curb walking, spicy food and all the other tricks to start labor, nothing happened.
Saturday the 22nd, Becca (my doula) came and checked me again, but nothing had changed. I attended a friend’s baby shower that day then walked to Mia’s school with the family for dinner, but still nothing. The next day Adam took the kids to church, but I was whipped and decided to rest at home all day.
Is That My Water?
On Monday the 24th a friend came to visit in the morning and shortly after she left I felt a gushing sensation. Those of you familiar with pregnancy know that it is not uncommon to have discharge throughout your pregnancy, but particularly so towards the end. For days I had been having increased amounts of thick, mucousy discharge, but this felt different. Not wanting to rush to conclusions I waited, but over the coming hours I felt more gushes and decided to reach out to Becca. She came over around 3pm with strips to check for amniotic fluid and sure enough it was quickly apparent that my water had broken!
At this point I was only 3cm dilated and still not effaced. I also wasn’t having any sort of contractions and was beginning to feel anxious as I reflected on my birth with Mia in which my water broke, but she wasn’t born for over 24 hours (of hard labor!!). I paced the house and bounced on the birth ball, trying to get labor going. Thankfully I was in contact with a dear friend in the States who was the midwife that delivered Mia and she encouraged me to rest since typically labor will start on it’s own within 12 hours of the water breaking. Becca repeated this wisdom and encouraged me to take a nap. I decided to heed this advice, ate dinner (a delicious Thai peanut chicken that a friend had graciously dropped off…highly recommend this as a good pre-labor meal!) and then went upstairs to our room around 6:30pm.
The Cave
I mentioned in my last Pregnancy Abroad post about the birth class I took prior to this labor. Going forward I will reference it often as it was key in how this labor and delivery went. For starters, one concept discussed in the class is that it is helpful to create a “cave” to labor in. It even encouraged wearing sunglasses and headphones when going from home to the hospital to stay âin the caveâ when changing locations.
As I went upstairs to nap I decided to create my cave. I got ready for bed, turned on two fans and a white noise machine, turned off the lights, reread the labor chapter in my Risen Motherhood book (also referenced in the last post!) and then put on my sleep mask. At first I felt too energized to fall asleep so I just rested, but then I began feeling some contractions start. Even though they were just mildly uncomfortable I began working through how I would cope with the contractions and I reminded myself of the different birth verses and affirmations I had compiled ahead of time (see picture below).
I focused on intentional breathing and relaxing my arms and legs (skeletal muscles) so that more blood and oxygen could be directed towards the uterus (a smooth muscle) as it did the work of contracting to move baby down and eventually out. I wanted to be sure to yield to the contractions versus working against them.
I started using visualization to anticipate the labor. I pictured each contraction as a hill. As the contraction built I was climbing up the hill, at the height of discomfort I was at the top of the hill and then as the contraction came to an end I pictured walking down the hill. I noticed, and was thankful, that in between each hill was flat land, the pause between contractions. I was also very aware that I was not managing these contractions alone, rather I saw Jesus climbing and walking each hill with me. I also looked ahead, knowing that the hills would eventually turn into mountains, too numerous to count, which would grow increasingly difficult to climb and which would have smaller and smaller gaps between them. At first this was a bit anxiety-inducing until I remembered that I was not tackling these mountains in my own strength, and I was never alone. “Jesus will never forsake me or leave me to myself, He will always come to my aid.” “He is trustworthy.” “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7
Finally, I began thinking through the different sensations and pains that I knew were coming, the increased intensity of contractions, the shorter breaks between them, the rectal pressure when baby is moving down the birth canal and the sensation of stretching (the ring of fire!) when it was time to push. I kept reminding myself that all of that was “productive pain” and “I trained for this“.
Rest and Digest
After some time of meditating, praying and drifting in and out of sleep, I decided to check the time and it was already 8pm! I had been in there an hour and a half and with how relaxing the environment was I could feel that the contractions were picking up so I decided to continue resting. At one point I timed the contractions and looked up what they would be if I was in early labor. They were irregular, ranging from 5 to 10 minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds to a minute each. After my experience of slow progression with Mia I prepared myself mentally that this was probably very early labor and I had a long ways to go.
Remembering that I should use this early time of still being relatively comfortable to rest and eat, I decided to stay in my room and had Adam bring me up a snack and some water around 9:30pm. After that I fell asleep.
It’s Baby Time!
I remember so distinctly jumping awake with a sharp, severe pain that turned into a full blown, I have to breathe intentionally, contraction at 12:53. I quickly realized that things had picked up considerably as I continued working through contractions and went to the bathroom. At this point my body decided to clear everything out which would have been a warning sign that baby was moving down and nearing her arrival, except for the fact that I had been having diarrhea for much of the end of my pregnancy so I didnât think much of this time except that I wanted to get back to bed quickly to keep working through the contractions I was having.
At 1:15am I called Adam to come upstairs, feeling like I needed help managing the contractions. At 1:30am Becca also came up. Seeing how intense the contractions were she decided to check me again. I was nearly fully effaced, but still only 3cm. She encouraged us that we should head out for the hospital in the next hour or so, but had some time to labor at home still (which is what I had always emphasized wanting).
For the following 45 minutes Becca and Adam helped me labor through increasingly difficult contractions using different things like the birth ball, peanut ball, make shift rebozo sheet and counter pressure. I remember feeling a bit stressed about if I could handle this since I assumed I still had a long ways to go and had never given birth unmedicated. At some point Adam began putting the final things in our hospital bag so we would be ready to go and he called our friends to come over who were going to stay the rest of the night with the older kids.
At one point I got up to use the restroom again and found it nearly unbearable to be sitting on the toilet. I finished and tried to go wash my hands, but a super strong contraction came on. I tried working through it by hanging from the sink in a supported squat, but this too was very painful. Becca was encouraging me the whole time and Adam ran downstairs to put everything in the car.
After the contraction I staggered back to bed, but already another contraction was upon me. I got on my hands and knees on my bed trying wildly to work through the contractions which were now stacking one on top of the other. I began to feel crazy and terrified! How could I keep going like this? How was I supposed to get in a car and ride to the hospital like this? I wanted an epidural! I began to say, âI canât do this. I canât do this! I canât do this anymore!â
And then it hit me. In my class I remembered learning that when you are in the transition phase of labor you will most likely hit a wall and begin doubting yourself. I was going through transition. I then realized I wasnât having any contractions anymore which in my class was called the âRest and Be Thankfulâ stage between transition and pushing. It seemed too good to be true that I was almost at the end of this. I felt like I was in a trance, in my own little world as I processed this. I was so focused I couldnât speak.
Then came the pressure and I knew baby must be moving down. It was the pressure I had prepared for. Suddenly I felt the urge to push and managed to mutter as much.
While I had gone into âlabor landâ and been processing how far progressed this labor was, Becca was trying to get me dressed to go. I was not cooperative and wouldnât move from my hands and knees on the bed. When I said I needed to push she told me to try not to, thinking there was no way I was fully dilated and if I pushed it could make my cervix swell.
When she said that, I utilized another skill from my class and began panting when I felt the urge to push in order to stall pushing.
At this point I felt the distinct sensation of baby crowning and then, as I did the panting breath, she went back in. This happened once or twice more at which point the urge to push became irresistible. With a loud yell I pushed (using my TVA muscles – thank you birthing class) and Evie shot most of the way out. Becca yelled, âYou werenât kidding!!â and helped guide Evie out during the next two pushes.
As soon as Evie was born I was filled with relief that it was over and I snapped out of âlabor landâ. Evie came out crying and as pink as could be. Becca grabbed the only thing we had near us, a mattress protector, and wrapped Evie in it. We then realized that Adam wasnât in the room and started yelling for him!
He was coming in from outside and when he heard his name being yelled he thought something must be wrong so he raced upstairs. Instead he walked in to me, still on my hands and knees and connected by umbilical cord to Evie who was in the mattress protector in Beccaâs arms. When he came in Becca said, âYou have a little girl!â
By Godâs grace Becca happened to have some clamps and scissors in her medical bag (which had been in there for years but never needed to be used) which allowed her to safely clamp the umbilical cord and cut it. Becca needed to help me at this point so Adam took Evie and ran downstairs to find a bowl for the placenta to be delivered into.
By then our friends who were staying the night with the kids were already here and had heard my yells as I pushed followed by Evieâs cries. Still, they were shocked to see Adam carrying a baby when he came downstairs!
One of our favorite parts of the story is that when Adam arrived back in the room, with the biggest bowl he could find, I was already about to push out the placenta so Becca had grabbed the closest thing to her as a makeshift bowl to catch it in which just so happened to be Adamâs 2022 European Open commemorative disc golf disc!
Upon entering Adam saw this beloved disc held between my legs ready to catch the placenta and was more than relieved to swap it with the bowl just in the nick of time! If you know how much we love disc golf then you can appreciate how incredible it would have been if I had indeed delivered the placenta into a disc. Maybe next time! Ha!
Anyway, after that I finally flopped onto my side and we spent the next stretch of time recovering. Evie was still doing beautifully so we had a golden hour and then some of breastfeeding. Becca assessed me and eventually helped me to the bathroom. Shortly after this though Evie began to grunt and struggle a bit to breathe so we decided it was time to head to the hospital.
We loaded up into the car and booked it there, thankful that traffic was nearly nonexistent in the early morning hours. We actually made it to the hospital in record time – 12 minutes!
Final Thoughts
My final blog post in this series will chronicle the care at the hospital as it deserves its own post. And weâre actually on hospitalization number 3 as I type this so Iâve got plenty of content to share!
Thank you for tracking so far and for reading about Evieâs birth! As time has passed and we continue to reflect, we have become increasingly grateful for how everything happened.
Birth is unpredictable – so many things could have gone wrong, especially in a situation where we had almost no resources, having planned on a hospital birth. Yet, by Godâs grace, we have this beautiful birth story to share! Our first birth overseas, getting to fully labor and deliver at home and my first birth unmedicated.
Evieâs name means « life » and her birth story will always be one in which we sit before God in humble awe and gratefulness for the protection of her life and mine in the midst of a crazy, unplanned event which was unknown to us, but fully known to our Father.
Her middle name Grace is a sweet reminder of the good gifts God gives out of His mercy and grace towards us. She is certainly a gift to us!
-Selina
