Our first couple of days in France have been a whirlwind. I can’t even keep straight what day it is! We flew out of the Detroit airport on Tuesday and had an overnight flight to Amsterdam. Then sometime Wednesday we got into Amsterdam and quickly flew out of there to Geneva. We got to Geneva sometime Wednesday afternoon and a taxi drove us plus our 7 totes, 2 suitcases, 2 car seats with sleepy children, a double stroller and 6 various sized carryon/personal items to our school in Albertville, France. We arrived shortly after 4pm here and have been here two full days now…so I guess that makes today Friday!
In all seriousness though I have been amazed by this process and wanted to attempt to share what it’s been like.
The weeks leading up to our departure were far more stressful than I anticipated – Adam and I both ended up getting sick the week before we left which in hindsight was probably due to stress and lack of sleep more than anything else. Regardless, this made us particularly nervous for our Covid tests the night before we flew so we felt enormous relief when we heard our results were negative. We finalized packing that night – the end of a tiring process of constantly second guessing what was worth bringing.
Then came the morning of our departure which was probably one of the most difficult days of my life. Adam and I have both lived in Midland practically our whole lives and our family is very close. In our old house in Midland we lived minutes away from both of our moms, my dad and all my brothers. My sister and brother-in-law were only 30 minutes away so it was not unusual to see various members of our family several times a week, especially in the months leading up to our departure. Additionally we spent our final two weeks in the States living at my moms house which brought us all the closer to everyone since we were with many of them all the time, even my sister who was on Christmas break and spent several nights at my mom’s as well.
The morning we left my dad came to say goodbye to us in first so the tears started early. When it was time to leave for the airport we said goodbye to my four younger brothers (their ages range from 13-21) which were some of the most difficult goodbyes for me as we don’t know that we will see them again before we come back on home assignment at some point. Then both of our moms, my sister and her husband drove us to the airport. We had a long check in process (see earlier list of what we brought) which allowed us extended time with them in the airport. Moments I will always cherish. Then came those final goodbyes. So many tears shed. While our moms plan to visit us in France we don’t anticipate my sister and her husband coming since they are due with their first baby, my first nephew, in just a couple weeks.
We hugged each of them tightly then rushed to get to security. In our haste I remember realizing that I hadn’t turned back for one last wave goodbye, but they were already out of sight. Then my heart soared when we got up to security and I was able to glimpse the four of them one last time. The flights and travel were so crazy that I did not have a ton of time to think about those goodbyes.
Then came our first night in France, which went well from a practical standpoint – the kids fell asleep quickly and only woke up once before sleeping in until 10:30am, but for me it was one of the more difficult nights I’ve experienced. I had been tearful the whole evening and exhausted from our trip, but then I woke up in the middle of the night and felt truly awful. I have never experienced such an ache in my heart. Every time I thought about each goodbye with our family and with dear friends the days leading up to leaving I felt my stomach drop. The reality of being away from home, from all that is familiar and those who we so deeply cherish was all hitting me at once. I was overwhelmed with feelings of sadness and even regret. Why had we chosen to do this? Why would we leave all those people we love? How would I get through this pain? In the midst of that I felt the Spirit remind me, “You can’t get through it, but Jesus can carry you through it.” And I knew I needed to cry out to God. There was no way to make myself “feel” better or to explain to myself all the reasons why we are here. So I cried out to God and prayed for the peace of His Spirit. I begged Him to minister to my heart which continued to ache. And even in the dead of the night He was there, comforting me and allowing me to fall back asleep.
The next morning I stepped into our apartment and saw all the natural light streaming into the living room. I looked out the window and saw the incredible mountains that surround Albertville. I thought of all the past couple of days had held and instead of a hole in my stomach and a throbbing heart, I felt at peace. The longing for my loved ones and the familiarity of Midland is still there obviously, but with ease the Lord has already lessened that aching. By His Spirit He is providing peace that only He can give and continually cementing a foundation in Him for why we are here and why all of this is so good.
He also prompted me to journal and reflect on all the many ways we saw His hand on the trip here. He allowed the kids to do SO well on the flights and taxi drive. He provided awesome neighbors in our apartment building who moved all our luggage in (we’re on the second floor), provided us dinner our first night and cookies the next day, took us grocery shopping and who have answered a million questions for us already. He has allowed our little apartment to already feel so much like home in just the time it took to unpack. He has given us such an amazing support system of family, friends and prayer warriors (you who are reading this!). He has allowed us to live in a place that is so breathtaking in it’s beauty we can’t help but praise Him for His creativity and workmanship! He has and continues to wrap His arms around me, around our whole family, to provide, comfort and encourage in ways only He can. This has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I know the difficulty and discomfort will only continue as we start school Monday and put our kids in preschool/daycare for the first time. In those things and beyond I don’t know what is in store for us, but I do know that God has gone before us and will be with us each step of the way. I’m so excited to see what He reveals of Himself through all of these changes and transitions as well as the heartache. He is so worthy of it all!
-Selina